Notes: Shame

Shame is one of the non-rational methods of influencing others and is also one of the methods that is non-physical but both verbal and non-verbal in nature. Shame is something that can be an action directed at an object, "to shame someone.", it can be a general attitude of body language and vocal tone that conveys the act of shaming or indicates acceptance of shame.

shame  (shm)

n.

1.

a. A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace.

b. Capacity for such a feeling: Have you no shame?

2. One that brings dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation.

3. A condition of disgrace or dishonor; ignominy.

4. A great disappointment.

tr.v. shamed, sham·ing, shames

1. To cause to feel shame; put to shame.

2. To bring dishonor or disgrace on.

3. To disgrace by surpassing.

4. To force by making ashamed: He was shamed into making an apology.

Idiom:

put to shame

1. To fill with shame; disgrace.

2. To outdo thoroughly; surpass: Your productivity has put the rest of us to shame.

As with any dictionary definition the concept is devoid of experiential reference and full comprehension requires deeper examination and experience of the concept. Without experience only an imperfect comprehension will be attained.

There are many various media of communication and through those media are various methods in which to communicate and to convey ideas. The more one expands their understanding trying to include an understanding of all modes of communication the better they will be equipped to discern the gestalt picture of an individual, small group, large group, culture, or nation that has a distinct identity. This assumes what is truth applies to the individual as a whole and will also apply to larger groups. Under acceptance of this assumption what appears not to apply for both individual and group must involve unknown confounding variables and needs to be further explored until the problem with comprehension is resolved.

Shame is related to the methods of transmitting information through tradition, indoctrination, cultural norms, social hierarchies, and perhaps other to be identified later, using specifically irrational and non-systematic methods. The categories possible are rational, irrational, systematic, non-systematic, codified, oral, and more to be identified later.

When the participant in a group has received the ideological norms (irrational and non-systematic) they are expected to conform to the norms of the group and to reflect its values in their behavior and speech. When the individual follows the norm, they receive praise.  When the individual, exemplifies the highest example of some idea(s) of the group they are receive honor. When the individual perfectly represents all ideas of the group with no contradicting behavior or communication they are receive glory. All these are abstract social rewards to encourage behavior and thought.

On the other side, when an individual violates the norm of the group they receive varying degrees of disincentives or punishment.  Minor violations invite reproach and shame. Moderate violations receive varying reactions among which includes shame, discipline, argument, bullying, and others yet to be identified and categorized. The moderate reactions vary in intensity and the methods can be either positive or negative (give or take away). The major violation of norms receive shame, ostracizing, hostility, threats, vigorous attempts at argument and/or persuasion, and others to be identified and categorized later. The extreme violation of norms/taboos results in one of the following expulsion from the group, isolation, violence, and perhaps others to be identified and categorized later.

Shame is one of the methods of communicating disapproval of behavior and signals violation of norms in all but the extreme category of transgression. Shame merely varies in intensity from mild to extreme across the range of the severity of violations.

Shame, in and of itself, is neither a good nor bad construct but a tool that is used to communicate disapproval of behavior in an irrational modality using both non-verbal and linguistic techniques. As with all tools shame is capable of being used intentionally to manipulate in order to achieve desired outcomes. When shame is used as a tool to control or dominate the behavior of others without any correlation to whether or not those others are complying with norms then shame is being used as a tool of abuse, which shall be called "toxic shame" to reflect the concept phrase already found in the psychological field.

Toxic Shame:
Toxic Shame is shame that is not related to a specific/defined norm and is not correlated to behavior that violates a norm.  Without a norm to associate with being shamed and with removal of shame the subject attaches the violation to the only common variable present at all times, namely themselves. Since the shame isn't clearly defined as relating to a particular trait, behavior, or other identifier of the subject then the shame is self-attributed to their identity/ego and internalized as toxic shame.

The resulting effect of toxic shame is a continuous internal pressure to change some unknown thing about self in order to alleviate the emotional stress/pain felt from shame. Since the "thing" is unknown changes will be experimented with and discarded to no effect in changing the state of toxic shame.  The continuous unrelenting presence of shame causes increasing degrees of suffering until some event causes a shift in correlating the shame with something other than ego or the subject has been removed from the source(s) of toxic shame and their identity of self has been redefined to the point where there is nothing that was once internally correlated to the toxic shame.